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S E X 4 W O M E N . C O M Advice Column Question & Answer |
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Subject: Anal VirginQUESTION: My fiancee really wants to try anal. I'm terrified though. We've never used condoms or lube before ever. what can i do to make this less horrifying and painful? How long will it hurt afterwards? And will I be able to control my bowel movements? I'm scared. plz help!!! REPLY: You are right to be concerned. People are taking anal sex much too lightly. It's very "in" lately but there are precautions to take and one must keep in mind this is not the function of the colon - to have something pushed up into it. Doesn't mean it isn't pleasurable for some people, but for the people that it is *not* pleasurable - they shouldn't be made to feel bad about that. I'm also a proponent of you should never do anything in sex that you don't want to do. There may be negotiations and compromise because the pleasure of two people are involved, but that means the pleasure of two people, not the pain and discomfort of one. If you are not comfortable with the idea, just say NO. He will survive. But if you do try it, there is no such thing as too much lube and go slowly. Use fingers first to get adjusted and relax and if it is comfort, go *slowly*. If it hurts, this is your body telling you to stop and you should. You can, in fact, damage things back there. And related to this, never use numbing gells because then you lose the ability to know if you are damaging something unrepairably. - KT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [ submit a tip/comment for this question here ] | [ submit a new question here ] User Submitted Tips/Comments: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
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