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S E X 4 W O M E N . C O M Advice Column Question & Answer |
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Subject: FistingQUESTION: I have been in a very intimate relationship for the past 3 years. I have a question about fisting. When my partner and I were in our moment of passion, she entered 3 then 4 fingers in me. It felt so orgasmic. During this she asked if I wanted to fist. All of a sudden started to panic because I didn't know what this meant. She did explain and she has never done this before and I would like to make it a first like many other things we have done together. I have tried researching this subject but not enough info for my liking. I wouldn't want something to go wrong. Your advice would be appreciated. Thanks. REPLY: Fisting is an activity that is best done between partners who have built up a large reserve of trust and sense of safety. It can be a powerful experience but can be very painful if the receiving partner does not trust or feel safe enough to relax. Lots of lube is recommended and going slowly is a good idea. Stop at any stage that feels too uncomfortable. Successful fisting does not have to happen on the first or second try. Work into slowly. Gloves for fisting are not only about safe sex, they help prevent friction by preventing your hand from absorbing moisture. Also with many women, it's a good idea to have an orgasm first through some other means before trying fisting. It makes one more relaxed and receptive. Once she has an orgasm, do pull your hand out right away. It can hurt a lot and it can leaves a sense of emotional and physical emptiness that borders on abandonment. Again, go slowly, lots of lube and have fun with it. I think these tips apply to heterosexual couples as well. - KT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [ submit a tip/comment for this question here ] | [ submit a new question here ] User Submitted Tips/Comments: As far as tips, I'd use at least as much time pulling out as going in. And hold her afterwards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Any good penetration sex (and I guess other sexual activities) provides the opportunity for bacteria to get into the ureathra - causing an icky urinary tract infection. The best way to avoid this is to pee after sex, to drink lots of fluids, cranberry juice and or take cranberry juice capsules (which they sell in any pharmacy chain or healthfood store) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I find that if you start slowly and are consistant that the vagina will relax itself and open up more to you....I suggest that keeping your thumb out is a good thing. Work the two fingers first then three etc....this TAKES TIME! don't rush it enjoy it! When entering your fist inside her...make sure to turn it....and slide it in gently...once you are in......well the world has opened up to you both! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . One of the most overwhelming parts of being fisted is not only the physical but the mental/emotional connection. For me eye contact is imperative, every time I open my eyes, she's watching me. I know that she knows the limits of my body probably better than I do, that she'll push me as far as I can go and I can trust her. At that point, she is holding my soul in her hands. I like the pause on entry, so I can adjust to the size and feel of her fist, the slow almost imperceptable movements that build gradually, the slight twists... it all adds to the sensation... and the come-down time afterwards, being held, stroked, kissed... it's cathartic and such an emotional expungent that I'll cry afterwards if it was particularly intense. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
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