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S E X 4 W O M E N . C O M Advice Column Question & Answer |
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Subject: Anal Sex LubricationQUESTION: My fiance and I are talking about anal sex and I was wondering what are the best options for lube? I was also concerned about positions. I read some where not to do it standing up because it tenses the muscles. What are some other good alternatives? Can you do it in the shower? And if so is there another type of lube we should be looking for? Do you have any recommendations for condoms? Is one type better then another for anal? REPLY: Sounds like someone could write a successful book on anal! For lubrication, I'd suggest exploring Boy Butter. It's actually a cream, so it stays where you put it - no dribbling all over the bed. And it doesn't get tacky. Great stuff. Another good brand, and easier to find, is Wet. As for positions, especially beginners, the receiver should be in a position where there is no muscle tension in the genital area, and that would be on your side or lying face down. It would not be standing in a shower. Any reliable condom brand is fine. Just avoid those with spermicide. I always want to note - although couples are talking more and exploring more with anal sex than it seems in the past, you need to be informed of the potential health risks. Anal sex is not for everyone. For some, it is most enjoyable and others is can be painful, and it should not be approached lightly. There is nothing wrong with a person not wanting to practice this if its painful. That said, just get informed beforehand and if you so choose, have fun with it. - KT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . [ submit a tip/comment for this question here ] | [ submit a new question here ] User Submitted Tips/Comments: Just thought about giving input on receiving anal sex without 'the mess'. These methods have worked for me without having to use enemas or douches. Having a good bowel movement is very important. I try to stay away from eating several hours ahead (which I'm quite hungry afterwards lol) if I know I'm gonna have anal sex thus, taking care of the bowel movement earlier on. However, when I do eat I like to make sure its food that will digest comfortably without issue. I promise this is not a weight loss 'anal sex' diet, but it has worked for me for avoiding any stool messes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . When having anal sex with my boyfriend everything goes fine until I'm on top or we're doing it "doggy style". When this happens, every time he thrusts I experience pressure in my ovary areas. It's not painful but it is quite uncomfortable. So different positions will work differently for for different people. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My husband recently purchased a desensitizing lubricant for anal sex called Anal-Ese at a local adult toy store. It says its for where less painful anal penetration is desired. The active ingredient is benzocaine. Is this safe to use?? Do you know of any side effects from using this type of lube?? and are there any long term side effects from repeated use? We haven't given it a try because I'm a little bit nervous about it and I want to be sure it is safe. KT: In general, I do not approve of anal desensitizers. Usually, they do contain benzocaine, as you've noted. If there is any pain in anal intercourse, you should know about it, and pronto. That pain is an important indicator to you and you do not want to mask it with a numbing compound. The pain is there for a reason - your body is telling you to stop, and considering the potential health problems associated with anal penetration, this is vital biological feedback. Damage to the colon can be permanent and cause problems later in life. Also, these compounds numb the penis as well, so he could plow away far longer than usual, further increasing potential risks. So, I am not keen on them. If you want to be involved in anal sex, use lots of lube, go slow and easy, and stop if there is pain. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My husband loves anal sex and I was just wondering is there any kind of toy that will ease me up to his size so he doesnt tear me?? KT: He better NOT be tearing you or you'll end up with some serious health problems. It's a good idea to start small for anal and let the sphincter relax. Two toys I would recommend for that - the Mini Mole is good, or a Butt Really. Both are small, flexible vibrators that help loosen you up. Make sure you are informed about the potential risks of anal sex. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
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